if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
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