I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
