I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
