K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
