omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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