i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
