Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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