I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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