Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
