i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
