Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
