apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
