Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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