Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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