Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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