Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions

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(812): So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions http://tfl.nu/7b2z

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(248): View more from Michigan

Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.

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(248): Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up. http://tfl.nu/qfvl

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(303): View more from Colorado

We took shots in honor of Shark Week.

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(303): We took shots in honor of Shark Week. http://tfl.nu/tloc

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.

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(414): filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach. http://tfl.nu/edt0

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(618): View more from Illinois

Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??

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(618): Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking?? http://tfl.nu/g7y8

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.

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(780): We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts. http://tfl.nu/8v61

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(816): View more from Missouri

Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.

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(816): Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night. http://tfl.nu/m82p

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.

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(508): we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos. http://tfl.nu/o4i1

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(361): View more from Texas

Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?

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(361): Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life? http://tfl.nu/01wo

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life

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(412): But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life http://tfl.nu/sdyc

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(519): View more from Ontario

I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents

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(519): I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents http://tfl.nu/4hgt

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(545): View more from

You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.

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(545): You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request. http://tfl.nu/ec9g

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(310): View more from California

When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.

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(310): When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs. http://tfl.nu/mv4h

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(760): View more from California

Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.

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(760): Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night. http://tfl.nu/5xwv

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(850): View more from Florida

I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.

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(850): I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute. http://tfl.nu/idmm

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