Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.

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  (202): Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain. http://tfl.nu/eu7i
  Replies (2) Good night (1131) Bad night (521)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.

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  (913): Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline. http://tfl.nu/h7vn
  Replies (15) Good night (3072) Bad night (894)
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  (310): View more from California

  thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!

  (1-310): View more from California

  you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?

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  (310): thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee! (1-310): you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right? http://tfl.nu/vyk6
  Replies (30) Good night (11821) Bad night (1253)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch

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  (516): Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch http://tfl.nu/s2ci
  Replies (10) Good night (4528) Bad night (773)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.

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  (815): I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them. http://tfl.nu/dcim
  Replies (4) Good night (3481) Bad night (870)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?

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  (705): I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ? http://tfl.nu/dlrl
  Replies (12) Good night (1214) Bad night (2547)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.

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  (802): It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic. http://tfl.nu/v71x
  Replies (7) Good night (2396) Bad night (747)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?

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  (405): Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card? http://tfl.nu/2f9h
  Replies (8) Good night (1750) Bad night (945)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!

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  (+44): Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome! http://tfl.nu/jhr8
  Replies (2) Good night (1945) Bad night (423)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here

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  (931): I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here http://tfl.nu/mh8f
  Replies (4) Good night (2104) Bad night (494)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.

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  (509): first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off. http://tfl.nu/heya
  Replies (7) Good night (482) Bad night (1333)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away

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  (401): Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away http://tfl.nu/kl70
  Replies (1) Good night (511) Bad night (206)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.

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  (360): Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void. http://tfl.nu/6brj
  Replies (1) Good night (241) Bad night (435)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM

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  (+61): A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM http://tfl.nu/lo1g
  Replies (2) Good night (644) Bad night (217)
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  (925): View more from California

  Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?

  (1-925): View more from California

  Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.

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  (925): Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer? (1-925): Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty. http://tfl.nu/4pgh
  Replies (2) Good night (342) Bad night (315)

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