we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.