He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.