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So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
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