She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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