We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
