the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
