I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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