First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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