My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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