i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
