why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
