No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
it's great music for shaving your balls
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
