This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
