YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
