It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
