In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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