I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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