I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
