How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
