I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Pants are for mortals
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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