He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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