i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
