But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
