you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
