I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
