Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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