Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
