Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
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he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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