I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Couch. On fire.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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