I wanna bring you to show and tell
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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