hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
