YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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