Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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