Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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