I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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