there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
