It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
