is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
