That's when you crack a 10am beer
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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