just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
