Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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