Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
