she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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