finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
