So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
