Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
