That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
