Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize