Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
