it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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