Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize