he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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