My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
dude. I can hear the air.
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