So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We are all done wearing pants today
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
