i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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