i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize